Whenever I go to the masjid at road no# 7, i feel so amazing! Al hamdulillaah! Every time I go there I just want to keep on praying subhan Allaah and the best thing is when you go there you don't feel bored or fatigued but rather you feel this energy inside of you each time you stand for prayer subhan Allaah.
The environment of the masjid is just awesome, it's just so green around the masjid complex. And if you could just feel the cool breeze that blows all the time around the clock, it's almost as if Allaah welcomes His slaves to His house in a unique way by turning on this natural air conditioner subhan Allaah!
I found comfort and tranquility when I was praying in the balcony of the masjid today, i was able to let go of this world and focus on something way beyond a transitory existence! It was a surreal feeling!
Yes, i was very upset today as I was missing Raiiq, my brother in Islam who flew to the UK this morning to study medicine ma sha Allaah. And going to that particular place reminded me of him and just for a moment I found it hard to believe that he wasn't around.
Yes brother, we don't know the future and we don't know whats there in store for us. Hence I don't know whether I will be alive the next time you come to Bangladesh or not.
I apologize to you if I ever have hurt your feelings. Please do forgive me and keep me in your prayers in sha Allaah.
September 26, 2011
September 02, 2011
Tafsir Surat al Fajr- based on a lecture by Br. Nouman Ali Khan Part4
Assalamualaykum folks! I'm back after a long break, couldn't post earlier for some unavoidable reasons. Now insh A Allaah I'd try to speed up a bit and finish it off really quickly. So without further ado let us start with our next ayah which is-
Alam Tara Kaifafa ala Rabukka bi ad
Did you (O Muhammad (Peace be upon him)) not see (thought) how your Lord dealt with 'Ad (people)? [ ayah-9]
Here, Allaah azza wajjal basically brings the point home by saying if you dont believe in the unseen then at least believe in what you can see. Now we have to understand the fact that whenever Allaah addresses Rasulullaah(s.a.w) in regards to reminders it also in a way addresses us. So believing in the unseen Aoudhubillaah is not an issue for the prophet (as) but it is an issue for us sometimes. Hence we can say it's a reminder to Rasulullaah (s.a.w) and a food for thought and a reminder for the ummaah at large.
The word Tara means understanding, the ayah is questioning the understanding of the people. And if we stick to the literal translation it would say ' did you not see'. Here 'see' doesn't refer to a visual experience but rather it refers to the thought process or understanding.
Now what understanding is Allaah talking about? Why did He bring forth this example in the first place?
well, He wants us to appreciate that these people (Ad) were very strong people. And Allaah especially brings forth their example because Arabs were a strong nation themselves and Allaah says these people were even more stronger than you and we have destroyed them like a fly! And you would get it straight if you have any understanding.
And subhan Allaah Allaah has preserved their ruins as to make us understand what He does to the disobedient and the arrogant ones. When the Arab would pass by Ad and Thamud they will see the ruins and get terrified.
Allaah goes on narrating their legacy...
Irama thatil ImAdi
Who were very tall like lofty pillars [Ayah 10]
Iram is considered by some the earlier generation of Ad. Others say Iram was a man or an ancestor of Ad.
Now Iram means to make a sign with pillars. Another explanation of this is that the nation of Iram possessed a body strength like that of pillars.
Ash Shawkani Rahimahullaah says- The affair of ad and thamud is very well known to the Arabs, because their town was very close to the Arabs.
To be continued.........
Alam Tara Kaifafa ala Rabukka bi ad
Did you (O Muhammad (Peace be upon him)) not see (thought) how your Lord dealt with 'Ad (people)? [ ayah-9]
Here, Allaah azza wajjal basically brings the point home by saying if you dont believe in the unseen then at least believe in what you can see. Now we have to understand the fact that whenever Allaah addresses Rasulullaah(s.a.w) in regards to reminders it also in a way addresses us. So believing in the unseen Aoudhubillaah is not an issue for the prophet (as) but it is an issue for us sometimes. Hence we can say it's a reminder to Rasulullaah (s.a.w) and a food for thought and a reminder for the ummaah at large.
The word Tara means understanding, the ayah is questioning the understanding of the people. And if we stick to the literal translation it would say ' did you not see'. Here 'see' doesn't refer to a visual experience but rather it refers to the thought process or understanding.
Now what understanding is Allaah talking about? Why did He bring forth this example in the first place?
well, He wants us to appreciate that these people (Ad) were very strong people. And Allaah especially brings forth their example because Arabs were a strong nation themselves and Allaah says these people were even more stronger than you and we have destroyed them like a fly! And you would get it straight if you have any understanding.
And subhan Allaah Allaah has preserved their ruins as to make us understand what He does to the disobedient and the arrogant ones. When the Arab would pass by Ad and Thamud they will see the ruins and get terrified.
Allaah goes on narrating their legacy...
Irama thatil ImAdi
Who were very tall like lofty pillars [Ayah 10]
Iram is considered by some the earlier generation of Ad. Others say Iram was a man or an ancestor of Ad.
Now Iram means to make a sign with pillars. Another explanation of this is that the nation of Iram possessed a body strength like that of pillars.
Ash Shawkani Rahimahullaah says- The affair of ad and thamud is very well known to the Arabs, because their town was very close to the Arabs.
To be continued.........
Reflections on Surah Fajr Part3 based on a lecture by Br. Nouman Ali Khan
We now start with the last oath ' Wa laili idha yasri' meaning "... And by the night when it departs".(ayah 4) the general ruling of the Arabic language is to use a 'ya' after 'asr' but only a ' kasra' has been used. So the word sara yasri means to take stroll at the night. A famous muhaddith and scholar al Akhfasha (rah) was asked why the 'ya' has not been used, he didn't answer but rather asked him to come after a year if he was serious. So he came after a year and al Akfasha answered- " sara yasri doesn't refer to the night but it refers to the people. In other words, people take stroll at the night but the night doesn't." See it means people have control over themselves but they don't have control over the night. Who has control over Himself? Only Allaah!
There are four oaths in total in this surah. The 1st and the 4th and the 2nd and the 3rd are connected to each other. The middle two oaths refer to the coming of Rasulullaah(s.a.w). The 1st oath is 'wal fajr' and the fourth oath is 'wal laili.....yasri'. Now chronologically speaking we'd be expecting the night/lail to come at first but here it is the opposite. As it's a given that fajr comes when the night drifts away, but fajr refers to the major sign of the day of judgment even though the light hasn't broken out yet and lail refers to the coming of the messenger of Allah sallalahualayhyssalam. So the priority has been mentioned first. We know that the coming of the messenger of Allah (s.a.w) is the greatest sign of the day of judgment, but as a minor sign it is mentioned later.
Allah continues to the next 'Halfi dhalika qasamullidhi Hijr" meaning
"There is indeed in them (the above oaths) sufficient proofs for men of understanding (and that, they should avoid all kinds of sins and disbeliefs, etc.)!"
(ayah 5)
Now, the word 'Hijr' means intellect. To an Arab "Hijr" would mean control, power. Allah azza wajjal here uses this statement to awaken His slaves. Allah doesn't normally repeat like this. So it is an exceptional verse in the Qur'an. Also by referring to our intellect Allah is telling us if we have intellect to understand His Message. In other words, Allah is saying don't just move on, reflect on the oaths. I say, we are the 'ashraful makqhlukat', we are the only beings created with an intellect and by referring to our intellect Allah is honoring us. And now it is upon us how we use our intellect and if His Message doesn't effect us then we are nothing better than an animal.
Al Alusi and Ash Shawkani Rahimahullah said- " The ones who are blessed with this intellect would immediately understand the lessons of the surah."
Now if you have read my previous notes you have seen how profound and unique were the oaths of Allaah azza wajjal. The lessons that He has attached to such few and simple words, is phenomenal subhanAllaah!
There are four oaths in total in this surah. The 1st and the 4th and the 2nd and the 3rd are connected to each other. The middle two oaths refer to the coming of Rasulullaah(s.a.w). The 1st oath is 'wal fajr' and the fourth oath is 'wal laili.....yasri'. Now chronologically speaking we'd be expecting the night/lail to come at first but here it is the opposite. As it's a given that fajr comes when the night drifts away, but fajr refers to the major sign of the day of judgment even though the light hasn't broken out yet and lail refers to the coming of the messenger of Allah sallalahualayhyssalam. So the priority has been mentioned first. We know that the coming of the messenger of Allah (s.a.w) is the greatest sign of the day of judgment, but as a minor sign it is mentioned later.
Allah continues to the next 'Halfi dhalika qasamullidhi Hijr" meaning
"There is indeed in them (the above oaths) sufficient proofs for men of understanding (and that, they should avoid all kinds of sins and disbeliefs, etc.)!"
(ayah 5)
Now, the word 'Hijr' means intellect. To an Arab "Hijr" would mean control, power. Allah azza wajjal here uses this statement to awaken His slaves. Allah doesn't normally repeat like this. So it is an exceptional verse in the Qur'an. Also by referring to our intellect Allah is telling us if we have intellect to understand His Message. In other words, Allah is saying don't just move on, reflect on the oaths. I say, we are the 'ashraful makqhlukat', we are the only beings created with an intellect and by referring to our intellect Allah is honoring us. And now it is upon us how we use our intellect and if His Message doesn't effect us then we are nothing better than an animal.
Al Alusi and Ash Shawkani Rahimahullah said- " The ones who are blessed with this intellect would immediately understand the lessons of the surah."
Now if you have read my previous notes you have seen how profound and unique were the oaths of Allaah azza wajjal. The lessons that He has attached to such few and simple words, is phenomenal subhanAllaah!
July 14, 2011
Reflections on Surah Fajr - Part2 - based on a lecture by Br. Nouman Ali Khan
Today inshAllaah I’m gonna start from where I stopped in my previous post. We talked a little bit about the first object by which Allah starts a series of oaths. Now let’s move onto the next thing by which Allah continues. Allah says- ‘Wal fajri walaiyalin ashri’.
Wal Ashr means 10 nights. So basically Allah is taking an oath by 10 nights. There is difference of opinion on which 10 nights is it referring to. The first group says it is the last 10 nights of Ramadan and the second group says it is the first 10 nights of Jull Hijja while some say it is referring to Muharram and others. However, the majority opinion is it is the last 10 days of Ramadan.
Now, there is a very interesting point to be noted here.-
If you read the seerah of the prophet you will find the victory of the prophet's mission was in the month of Dhul Hijja and the conclusion of his mission was in the month of Ramadan.
Look how Allaah takes oath by the mission of the Messenger (sa.w.). Allaah would not take an oath by something which is insignificant aoudhubillaah. Appreciate how important was the mission of the messenger that Allaah brings it in right at the beginning of the Surah.
And then Allaah continues ‘Washaf’I wal watri’
* Shafa’a literally means even, one part of another. [ Eludes to all the creation]
* Watr means odd [ Refers to Allaah azza Wajjal Himself]
There are two things in everything, some are even and some are odd.
Al Qatadaa (RadhiAllahu’anhu) comments- Ash Shaf means every day and al watr means the last Day.
Even though I don’t speak or know much Arabic but if I call it something in Arabic I’ll name it ‘ Al Yawmul Wahid’. Which literally would mean ‘The One and Only Day’. Because in reality that is the true day and Allaah testifies it in the Qur’aan. Allaah says- “That is without doubt the True Day, so, whosoever wills, let him seek a place with (or a way to) His Lord (by obeying Him in this worldly life)!” (Surah 78, Ayah 39)
Look how the word ‘watr’ focuses on ‘one’. What about the pairs? Every one of the pairs is one. First you have to look at every single thing individually before you get a pair subhanAllaah! And here Allah pairs this life with the next life thus he reminds us of the Day of Reckoning.
You know just this single word ‘watr’ is a refutation to the kuffar who ask why there is so much injustice when Allah is Just? By taking oath on the word ‘watr’ Allaah says everything will be put into place on that One Day. You have to believe in Allaah’s perfection, you have to believe that Allaah will do justice on the Day of Judgment. Again this life is just a test, if you don’t go through tests how do you expect to be rewarded? Do you expect to become a graduate without even giving your final exam? Of course not!
And Allaah says in Surat Al Mulk – “Who has created death and life, that He may test you which of you is best in deed. And He is the All-Mighty, the Oft-Forgiving;”. ( Surah 67, Ayah, 2)
To be continued.....
Wal Ashr means 10 nights. So basically Allah is taking an oath by 10 nights. There is difference of opinion on which 10 nights is it referring to. The first group says it is the last 10 nights of Ramadan and the second group says it is the first 10 nights of Jull Hijja while some say it is referring to Muharram and others. However, the majority opinion is it is the last 10 days of Ramadan.
Now, there is a very interesting point to be noted here.-
If you read the seerah of the prophet you will find the victory of the prophet's mission was in the month of Dhul Hijja and the conclusion of his mission was in the month of Ramadan.
Look how Allaah takes oath by the mission of the Messenger (sa.w.). Allaah would not take an oath by something which is insignificant aoudhubillaah. Appreciate how important was the mission of the messenger that Allaah brings it in right at the beginning of the Surah.
And then Allaah continues ‘Washaf’I wal watri’
* Shafa’a literally means even, one part of another. [ Eludes to all the creation]
* Watr means odd [ Refers to Allaah azza Wajjal Himself]
There are two things in everything, some are even and some are odd.
Al Qatadaa (RadhiAllahu’anhu) comments- Ash Shaf means every day and al watr means the last Day.
Even though I don’t speak or know much Arabic but if I call it something in Arabic I’ll name it ‘ Al Yawmul Wahid’. Which literally would mean ‘The One and Only Day’. Because in reality that is the true day and Allaah testifies it in the Qur’aan. Allaah says- “That is without doubt the True Day, so, whosoever wills, let him seek a place with (or a way to) His Lord (by obeying Him in this worldly life)!” (Surah 78, Ayah 39)
Look how the word ‘watr’ focuses on ‘one’. What about the pairs? Every one of the pairs is one. First you have to look at every single thing individually before you get a pair subhanAllaah! And here Allah pairs this life with the next life thus he reminds us of the Day of Reckoning.
You know just this single word ‘watr’ is a refutation to the kuffar who ask why there is so much injustice when Allah is Just? By taking oath on the word ‘watr’ Allaah says everything will be put into place on that One Day. You have to believe in Allaah’s perfection, you have to believe that Allaah will do justice on the Day of Judgment. Again this life is just a test, if you don’t go through tests how do you expect to be rewarded? Do you expect to become a graduate without even giving your final exam? Of course not!
And Allaah says in Surat Al Mulk – “Who has created death and life, that He may test you which of you is best in deed. And He is the All-Mighty, the Oft-Forgiving;”. ( Surah 67, Ayah, 2)
To be continued.....
July 11, 2011
Reflections on Surah Fajr - Part1 - based on a lecture by Br. Nouman Ali Khan
Bismillah wassalatu wassalam ala Rasulillaah
Surah Fajr is the 89th surah of the Glorious Qur'an. Like other surahs it also has some unique characteristics. However, in the Qur'an we have different types of Surahs. In some surahs Allah focuses on core Aqeedah issues and in some other surahs fiqh, seerah and so on and so forth. This particular surah falls on the type of surahs where Allaah takes oaths. In other words, these types of surahs are commonly known as 'wa' surahs. And when Allaah takes oaths then we really have to grow an ear as there are several reasons why Allah takes oaths in the first place. Also to better understand the message of the surah we have to consider the wisdom behind these oaths.
The reasons behind Allah's taking of oaths
1. When Allaah takes an oath then the severity of the matter is very heavy.
2.Oaths create intention.
3.Allaah wants us to understand and reflect on the message.
Word for Word take on the Surah
Now let's inshAllaah do a bit of word for word meaning of the surah. Let's take the first word 'fajr' with which Allah starts the series of oaths. 'Fajr' basically means something which rips away completely. Or in other words, we can say it tears away the darkness of the night. Like as you know the Fajr is the Arabic of dawn. SubhanAllah notice 'fajr' is one word and how big a message it conveys in English. By using the word fajr Allaah refers to a beginning of life. How?
You know what Rasulullah (s.a.w) used to recite when he woke up? Yes, he used to recite 'Alhamdulillahilladhi ahyaina badama amatana wailahin nushur'. Which basically means Praise be to Him who has given you second life. Because we all know sleeping is minor death. As Allaah says in Surat an Naba, Ayah 9 - "....and have made your sleep as a thing for rest."
So the lesson we find from it is that when we wake up at fajr and recite the du'a then it reminds us of resurrection. That the one who has the power to resurrect us from minor death then He also can resurrect us on the day of judgment after we have spent countless number of years in the grave.
Al Biqai Rahimahullaah commented - "When Allaah swears by the morning time then He reminds us of His creative Power to create life out of death."
Now this is something very beautiful subhanAllaah, appreciate this inshAllaah. Some Ulema commented when the animals and birds set out from their nests in search of provision they make a lot of noise and these noises are nothing but the dhikr of Allaah! But you cannot understand it as we human beings cannot grasp the unseen. You know what I find more beautiful from this little piece information? That is every soul is at sleep at this period of time except for the animals and........us the believers Alhamdulillaaah!!!!!!!! :D
The Ulema went further and commented - that the heart is most fearful of before its at fajr. Why because at this time we are leaving our homes only with the intention of worshiping Allaah alone.
In commenting on the word fajr Ash Shawkani Rahimahullah says - " This is not just a reference to the time of fajr but dawn of Islaam." In other words, victory of Islam will come at the time of fajr. It's like saying when fajr comes wait for Allaah's desicion, our victory is just around the corner subhanAllaah!
To be continued.......
Surah Fajr is the 89th surah of the Glorious Qur'an. Like other surahs it also has some unique characteristics. However, in the Qur'an we have different types of Surahs. In some surahs Allah focuses on core Aqeedah issues and in some other surahs fiqh, seerah and so on and so forth. This particular surah falls on the type of surahs where Allaah takes oaths. In other words, these types of surahs are commonly known as 'wa' surahs. And when Allaah takes oaths then we really have to grow an ear as there are several reasons why Allah takes oaths in the first place. Also to better understand the message of the surah we have to consider the wisdom behind these oaths.
The reasons behind Allah's taking of oaths
1. When Allaah takes an oath then the severity of the matter is very heavy.
2.Oaths create intention.
3.Allaah wants us to understand and reflect on the message.
Word for Word take on the Surah
Now let's inshAllaah do a bit of word for word meaning of the surah. Let's take the first word 'fajr' with which Allah starts the series of oaths. 'Fajr' basically means something which rips away completely. Or in other words, we can say it tears away the darkness of the night. Like as you know the Fajr is the Arabic of dawn. SubhanAllah notice 'fajr' is one word and how big a message it conveys in English. By using the word fajr Allaah refers to a beginning of life. How?
You know what Rasulullah (s.a.w) used to recite when he woke up? Yes, he used to recite 'Alhamdulillahilladhi ahyaina badama amatana wailahin nushur'. Which basically means Praise be to Him who has given you second life. Because we all know sleeping is minor death. As Allaah says in Surat an Naba, Ayah 9 - "....and have made your sleep as a thing for rest."
So the lesson we find from it is that when we wake up at fajr and recite the du'a then it reminds us of resurrection. That the one who has the power to resurrect us from minor death then He also can resurrect us on the day of judgment after we have spent countless number of years in the grave.
Al Biqai Rahimahullaah commented - "When Allaah swears by the morning time then He reminds us of His creative Power to create life out of death."
Now this is something very beautiful subhanAllaah, appreciate this inshAllaah. Some Ulema commented when the animals and birds set out from their nests in search of provision they make a lot of noise and these noises are nothing but the dhikr of Allaah! But you cannot understand it as we human beings cannot grasp the unseen. You know what I find more beautiful from this little piece information? That is every soul is at sleep at this period of time except for the animals and........us the believers Alhamdulillaaah!!!!!!!! :D
The Ulema went further and commented - that the heart is most fearful of before its at fajr. Why because at this time we are leaving our homes only with the intention of worshiping Allaah alone.
In commenting on the word fajr Ash Shawkani Rahimahullah says - " This is not just a reference to the time of fajr but dawn of Islaam." In other words, victory of Islam will come at the time of fajr. It's like saying when fajr comes wait for Allaah's desicion, our victory is just around the corner subhanAllaah!
To be continued.......
July 10, 2011
How my daughter Ashfeen passed away
My seven-month old daughter began to choke on the noon of June 9 and turned blue. We rushed her to United hospital and were told that she has aspiration. We also found out later on the day that she had secretion in her lungs from pneumonia. You don’t need Doogie Howser MD to realize that since the Aspiration pneumonia's effects will probably stick for a while, the ventilator should not be removed at least till it subsides.
However, it was done on June 10. Initially, she had troubled breathing and then she reached "spontaneous breathing". We thought everything was well and we returned home. The next morning we went back to learn that after 13 hours she had an apnic attack and had to be put on the ventilator again.
The duty doctors and the consultants realized all of a sudden, that maybe the hypoxia/anoxia has hurt her brains and on the fourth day decided to do a CT scan on her. Please note, the fourth day.
This bright idea did not come to them on the first or the second day. So, we were ready for the CT scan but we soon learned that it won't happen that day because there was something wrong with the scanner. My friend Tanim was pissed and he wrote a nasty status update on the day which caught the eyes of someone who happens to be a partner of the board that owns United. He was sincere and tried to help. Finally we found out that the CT scanner is working. But since the AC isn't working the doctors do not want to administer the scanning.
So it happened the next day.
But even before the CT scan the doctors were literally banging on the tables saying my daughter had global development delay and that she has cerebral palsy and even if she survives, she will have a disability for the rest of her life. I was ready to live with my daughter in anyway she was. But the really informed doctors, who seemed to be even more informed then GOD Himself, were still trying to tell us that we are not thinking about the Quality of life she might have. Rather than her survival we should think about this.....YES, these are doctors we are talking about. So I basically counted on ALLAH.
Finally the CT scan mentioned three things, all of which basically meant that my daughter is a goner. I'd no confidence in these doctors and so I went to Apollo for second opinions and also sought the help of other neuro surgeons from DMCH and so on. These doctors initially after seeing the reports said that, yes her case is critical. However, when two of them actually came to the hospital to examine her they reverted their stance and said there is still hope because she was responding to painful stimuli and even trying to take off the vent pipe when she was not sedated. One of the neurosurgeons prescribed a steroid which he said should have been given to her. This was the fifth or sixth day and already before he arrived, my daughter had two cardiac arrests when the duty doctors tried to bring down the Fractional Oxygen setting from 80% to 70%. As soon as the steroid was given, they were able to bring the setting down to 50%. Question to United lovers: Why couldnt the doctors, the bright Selim Shakur and the oh-so-learned Nargis Ara not give these steroids to her on the first day?
Moving on, Dr Narayan Saha of DMCH came in and said that weaning her off the ventilator should be the prime concern now and it can be done. All this while, the doctors at United told me it's because of her secretion that she cannot be weaned off. A week later when I called Dr Narayan again he tells me 'Ask them to decrease the secretion'. I was dumbfounded and told him that there is no such drug. He said, 'Key bolsey. Glycopyrrolate ditey bolen. Apollo r pharmacy tei pawa jai.' Now any normal human being would think that maybe, just maybe, the doctors at United did not know about this. But they did! Dr Narayan had prescribed the same drug for another patient earlier. Mind you, this is the third week and my daughter has been pricked thousands of times already. Her veins are becoming hard to find. I find Glycopyrollate by myself from Apollo. All by myself...no help from the United doctors. I give it to them on the 25th of June. They start giving it on 25th night. Selim Shakur tells me the next day that they'll start it from the next day. The duty doctor tells me they started it the previous night. What co-ordination!
Also, since my daughter has a lung problem and the Pediatric doctors are claiming that she has a neuro problem, should they not have contacted their specialists in these fields? We, the family, had to request them to do so. It's a very bureaucratic organisation, you see. They have to be told things!
Finally, on June 28, Selim Shakur tells us that there is some hope. Her secretion is clearing out. However, he is leaving for USA the next day. So, Nargis Ara, will look after her while he is gone. On June 29, she is apparently getting better. We are feeling better also. On the night of June 30, the Pediatric ICU doctors call us at 2:45 to tell us she had her second cardiac arrest and could not be revived.
Now you tell me, ALLAH hayat disen. Being a devout muslim, I accept that and I accept her leaving us. But being a journalist, I ask each and every single one of you, 'amar chotto meye ta ei type er bejonma doctors aar hospital staff er birudhhe kotokhon lorto?'
Final question to everyone: If the glycopyrrolate was given to her on the second or third day, could the outcome not have been better? What if she was given steroids on the first week and not on the second or third week? They could not find her veins to push the IV saline and other medications a day before she had the cardiac arrest.
Even when we were taking her body out of that hellhole, the doctors wrote she had septicimia, that she died at 3:30am and made other mistakes.
My Afsheen died with a smile on her face. And I am not making this up. She actually did have a smile on her face. As a parent I was glad she did not have to go through the torture anymore. She would have turned eight months on June 30, the day she passed away.
I know my daughter is better off dead than leaving in this Godforsaken country where hospitals like United can easily manipulate the dailies and the ministers to get their way. I am happy for my daughter. However, as a parent and a journalist, I feel I should share my ordeal with everyone. Maybe, just maybe it will save some people from making the biggest mistake of their lives.
Taken from journalist Syed Tashfeen Chowdhury's facebook note
However, it was done on June 10. Initially, she had troubled breathing and then she reached "spontaneous breathing". We thought everything was well and we returned home. The next morning we went back to learn that after 13 hours she had an apnic attack and had to be put on the ventilator again.
The duty doctors and the consultants realized all of a sudden, that maybe the hypoxia/anoxia has hurt her brains and on the fourth day decided to do a CT scan on her. Please note, the fourth day.
This bright idea did not come to them on the first or the second day. So, we were ready for the CT scan but we soon learned that it won't happen that day because there was something wrong with the scanner. My friend Tanim was pissed and he wrote a nasty status update on the day which caught the eyes of someone who happens to be a partner of the board that owns United. He was sincere and tried to help. Finally we found out that the CT scanner is working. But since the AC isn't working the doctors do not want to administer the scanning.
So it happened the next day.
But even before the CT scan the doctors were literally banging on the tables saying my daughter had global development delay and that she has cerebral palsy and even if she survives, she will have a disability for the rest of her life. I was ready to live with my daughter in anyway she was. But the really informed doctors, who seemed to be even more informed then GOD Himself, were still trying to tell us that we are not thinking about the Quality of life she might have. Rather than her survival we should think about this.....YES, these are doctors we are talking about. So I basically counted on ALLAH.
Finally the CT scan mentioned three things, all of which basically meant that my daughter is a goner. I'd no confidence in these doctors and so I went to Apollo for second opinions and also sought the help of other neuro surgeons from DMCH and so on. These doctors initially after seeing the reports said that, yes her case is critical. However, when two of them actually came to the hospital to examine her they reverted their stance and said there is still hope because she was responding to painful stimuli and even trying to take off the vent pipe when she was not sedated. One of the neurosurgeons prescribed a steroid which he said should have been given to her. This was the fifth or sixth day and already before he arrived, my daughter had two cardiac arrests when the duty doctors tried to bring down the Fractional Oxygen setting from 80% to 70%. As soon as the steroid was given, they were able to bring the setting down to 50%. Question to United lovers: Why couldnt the doctors, the bright Selim Shakur and the oh-so-learned Nargis Ara not give these steroids to her on the first day?
Moving on, Dr Narayan Saha of DMCH came in and said that weaning her off the ventilator should be the prime concern now and it can be done. All this while, the doctors at United told me it's because of her secretion that she cannot be weaned off. A week later when I called Dr Narayan again he tells me 'Ask them to decrease the secretion'. I was dumbfounded and told him that there is no such drug. He said, 'Key bolsey. Glycopyrrolate ditey bolen. Apollo r pharmacy tei pawa jai.' Now any normal human being would think that maybe, just maybe, the doctors at United did not know about this. But they did! Dr Narayan had prescribed the same drug for another patient earlier. Mind you, this is the third week and my daughter has been pricked thousands of times already. Her veins are becoming hard to find. I find Glycopyrollate by myself from Apollo. All by myself...no help from the United doctors. I give it to them on the 25th of June. They start giving it on 25th night. Selim Shakur tells me the next day that they'll start it from the next day. The duty doctor tells me they started it the previous night. What co-ordination!
Also, since my daughter has a lung problem and the Pediatric doctors are claiming that she has a neuro problem, should they not have contacted their specialists in these fields? We, the family, had to request them to do so. It's a very bureaucratic organisation, you see. They have to be told things!
Finally, on June 28, Selim Shakur tells us that there is some hope. Her secretion is clearing out. However, he is leaving for USA the next day. So, Nargis Ara, will look after her while he is gone. On June 29, she is apparently getting better. We are feeling better also. On the night of June 30, the Pediatric ICU doctors call us at 2:45 to tell us she had her second cardiac arrest and could not be revived.
Now you tell me, ALLAH hayat disen. Being a devout muslim, I accept that and I accept her leaving us. But being a journalist, I ask each and every single one of you, 'amar chotto meye ta ei type er bejonma doctors aar hospital staff er birudhhe kotokhon lorto?'
Final question to everyone: If the glycopyrrolate was given to her on the second or third day, could the outcome not have been better? What if she was given steroids on the first week and not on the second or third week? They could not find her veins to push the IV saline and other medications a day before she had the cardiac arrest.
Even when we were taking her body out of that hellhole, the doctors wrote she had septicimia, that she died at 3:30am and made other mistakes.
My Afsheen died with a smile on her face. And I am not making this up. She actually did have a smile on her face. As a parent I was glad she did not have to go through the torture anymore. She would have turned eight months on June 30, the day she passed away.
I know my daughter is better off dead than leaving in this Godforsaken country where hospitals like United can easily manipulate the dailies and the ministers to get their way. I am happy for my daughter. However, as a parent and a journalist, I feel I should share my ordeal with everyone. Maybe, just maybe it will save some people from making the biggest mistake of their lives.
Taken from journalist Syed Tashfeen Chowdhury's facebook note
May 25, 2011
Making the best use of your time
I don't really think I have been able to make the best use of free time. I actually didn't know how could I use my time for the betterment of my Islaamic knowledge. How I realized the difficulty of seeking knowledge without a teacher, I badly need a teacher to do it the right way. Because sometimes when someone doesn't have a teacher it's tough for them to keep themselves motivated. You'll be okay if you feel you are trying to learn whatever you can by yourself but if you are not content with it then you'll try to justify the obligation of learning knowledge and slack off saying 'knowledge is only for the scholars' or 'I'm not learning much'. Well knowledge wouldn't come to you if you weren't giving your full commitment to it.
Shaykh Bakr Abu Zayd said: Whoever tries to acquire knowledge wholesale will have it slip away wholesale. It is also said that, Trying to pack too much knowledge into the ears at one time leads to misunderstanding.
To be honest, I have committed to this mistake many many many times. I never was sure where to start how to start and what to start. However, whenever I tried to punctuate myself with a single topic at a time I succeeded Alhamdulillah. Also starting to study at this matured age was a bit tough & it's still tough as I'm growing older & older.
And as I got a job recently now it has become way more tough for me to acquire knowledge. I have wasted much time thinking about the process of learning but now it's time to act I guess. Yesterday I registered for the upcoming course of alkauthar titled 'Lord of the worlds' by Shaykh Towfique Chowdhury. I'm very excited about it, I guess it will be more beneficial when I sit with the brothers & study about it inshAllah. I missed the last course due to some unavoidable reasons but inshAllah soon I'll get the audio lectures of it & listen to them.
By the way, if you are thinking about studying knowledge then I strongly recommend you the alkauthar courses, because it's perfect for the people that are extremely busy. They are basically tertiary level one weekend course & they'll leave you with a good solid foundation on the subject taught in the course inshAllah.
:)
SO I gotta stop now lol, talk to you later inshAllah
happy learning
Nahiyan.
Shaykh Bakr Abu Zayd said: Whoever tries to acquire knowledge wholesale will have it slip away wholesale. It is also said that, Trying to pack too much knowledge into the ears at one time leads to misunderstanding.
To be honest, I have committed to this mistake many many many times. I never was sure where to start how to start and what to start. However, whenever I tried to punctuate myself with a single topic at a time I succeeded Alhamdulillah. Also starting to study at this matured age was a bit tough & it's still tough as I'm growing older & older.
And as I got a job recently now it has become way more tough for me to acquire knowledge. I have wasted much time thinking about the process of learning but now it's time to act I guess. Yesterday I registered for the upcoming course of alkauthar titled 'Lord of the worlds' by Shaykh Towfique Chowdhury. I'm very excited about it, I guess it will be more beneficial when I sit with the brothers & study about it inshAllah. I missed the last course due to some unavoidable reasons but inshAllah soon I'll get the audio lectures of it & listen to them.
By the way, if you are thinking about studying knowledge then I strongly recommend you the alkauthar courses, because it's perfect for the people that are extremely busy. They are basically tertiary level one weekend course & they'll leave you with a good solid foundation on the subject taught in the course inshAllah.
:)
SO I gotta stop now lol, talk to you later inshAllah
happy learning
Nahiyan.
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