Don’t let socializing on Facebook jeopardize your relationships

Have we ever thought about Facebook’s disadvantages or the negative sides?

I think, we have. But we didn’t dwell on the thought and moved on. Here’s the danger, some reports have said that Facebook is fast becoming a major factor in marriage conflicts and increasingly being used for a source of evidence in divorce cases.

Interestingly, Facebook is popular among people for the simple reason that it is a means of communication and you can share information in a lot faster manner.

But who thought Facebook has the potential of breaking marriages?

According to an article on ABC news published last year in March, a third of all divorce filings in 2011 contained the word “Facebook,” according to Divorce Online. And more than 80% of US divorce attorneys say social networking in divorce proceedings is on the rise, according to the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers.

Having said that, Facebook is made the cause of all the trouble and not the root of the problems per se.

It is said that greater availability of information online through social media has created a variety of problems in relationships at every level. Alright, but why would it matter if the person using Facebook were responsible enough to refrain from making nasty comments about their spouse and to be away from sending inappropriate messages to the members of the opposite sex?

These are little things the users have to focus on when they are using social media. It only takes one insignificant mistake to just ruin a marriage.

I think one should really take social media seriously because one would think their personal profile is not seen or checked by others as they are extra careful about not leaving it off guard. But we are forgetful. You forget once and your luck overcomes you and reveals all your secret to your spouse. Once your spouse finds out about your clandestine acts, chances are that you will lose their trust for life which in effect will jeopardize the relationship. Worse, the marriage will be over.

Maybe, these suggestions are not common to come from a guy. Especially from an unmarried guy at that but these are just my two cents on what I understand about marriage and relationships. You do not need to take me for granted.

Indian deputy Consul general Devyani Khobragade arrest case

The arrest of Indian deputy consul general Devyani Khobragade in New York recently has deeply offended India. The diplomat was arrested for alleged visa fraud.

The IFS officer is accused of giving false information while applying for a visa for a “babysitter and housekeeper” she brought from India, and of underpaying the help.

An article published in Times of India says she had limited immunity as a consular officer and could be arrested only if her crime was grave.

Indian officials are arguing if her offenses were so grave, why was she released later on the $250 bill?

Yes, the charge filed against her was indeed grave. If proven guilty, She could get up to 15 years in jail.

While it is understandable why the US authorities took her into custody, I do to understand why will a middle-level diplomat be humiliated in such a way?

What is most disturbing about the incident is that she was publicly handcuffed, humiliatingly strip searched and kept in a cell with drug addicts after her arrest.

Worse still, she was taken into custody on a street in New York as she was dropping her daughter to school. Meaning she was arrested and handcuffed in front of her daughter.

Being a senior foreign diplomat, she had certain rights and therefore had to be treated with decency. But apparently, the US officials were indifferent to her status as a diplomat.

As expected, the angry Indian government has asked all US Consulate personnel and their families to turn in their ID cards immediately.

Infuriated BJP leader Yashwant Singh said, "The media has reported that we have issued visas to a number of US diplomats' companions. Companions means that they are of the same sex. Now, after the Supreme Court Ruling (on gay sex verdict), it is completely illegal in our country. Just as paying fewer wage was illegal in the US. So, why doesn't the Government of India go ahead and arrest all of them! Put them behind bars, prosecute them in this country and punish them?"

Some thoughts on Mollah execution

I think the main problem with Quader Mollah execution was not merely the outside pressure. Rather the problem from the very beginning was that the whole trial process was flawed.

I regret that I was fool enough to not follow David Bergman's blog on Bangladesh war crimes trial at first.

I always found it difficult to understand as to why would the international media care about the Bangladesh war crimes trial. Yes I understand they were against the death penalty but why would they even give a hoot about Bangladesh's internal matters? Again, they could run stories on the trial considering it was a big enough event but criticizing a trial which was supposedly of the internal standard?

That is because as Bergman says the entire trial process and the hanging of Mollah was 'filmsy.'

The witness who was brought to the court hadn't even seen Abdul Quader Mollah. She said someone else told her that Quader Mollah killed her family!

It goes without saying that when a person is executed based on hearsay then something is horribly wrong.

Which is exactly what The Economist opines in a blog published on December 13th.

There could be many other reasons why the trial process should have done justice to its name.

For one thing, this trial was by and large the most significant trial in the history of Bangladeshi people. Hence, it absolutely needed to end well.

Back from a hiatus.

Due to workload, I really could not focus on my personal blog for the last few months. As I get some time for myself I decide to write about my experience at Dhaka Tribune. Well.....It's been busy. It's been crazy. All in all, it's been an experience worth talking about.

While there's freedom to voice my opinions, I still had to somewhat suppress my stance on a few issues. Since DT is my employer and it wants me to limit my activities on facebook and on the blogosphere I had to kind of give in to their terms and conditions or else my loyalty to my org is incomplete.

Despite all of that, I am liking it there. Considering that there is a friendly environment in the office. Almost everyone in my section is very nice, except for a few snobs. And I sincerely hope they will come to their senses sooner rather than later.

'Life of Pi' A tale of unmatched love

Watched the academy-award winning movie 'Life of Pi' last night. I must say, it's an amazing movie. No wonder how it bagged 4 Oscars this year. I am generally not a person who is always in the lookout for latest movies, but this one again was worth watching.

So there is this guy by the name of pi (Irfan Khan), who is the lead character or the protagonist of the story, was born in Pondichery which is in the southern part of India. The movie sort of gives an account of pi into his religious journey in the beginning. As to how he went from Vishnu to Jesus and Jesus to Allaah. Interestingly, Pi does not subscribe to any of these faiths per se. He tries to practice each of these religions in installments, so to speak.

Now, though it's just a movie and there is no reason why I should be overly critical about it, I do think it can lead people into thinking it is okay to, partially, subscribe to a faith. That's why I kind of liked the statement of pi's father, the agnostic.


"I would rather have you believe in something I don't believe in than believing in everything you come across."


And then he goes on to say religion is bakwas and it cannot explain most things. Hence, being a rational creature one should start from reason. Pi's mother says something similar to the effect, agreeing to his father. However, she says something much more important and worth paying attention to. She says while science and reason can indeed explain pretty much everything there is, neither can it explain the soul nor can it give it solace. Glory be to God, Allaah testifies in the Qur'an that the knowledge of soul is not given to any human being. Rather it is only with Allaah!

Probably, that's why when Pi is in trouble he calls unto Allaah only. Where does Vishnu or Jesus go? Even though in the beginning we see him calling to each one of them, when the time of crisis comes He only seeks Allah's help. Why? Because deep down inside he knows none can really deliver him out this mess except Allah. How do you explain it? If the soul were to be something known to the human beings they would have been able to tell you why this happens? When you worship, worship father, son and the holy ghost and when you seriously are in complete predicament you ask Allah to help you. Is this a joke or something you get to crack with the creator of the heavens and the earth? You may say this pi guy is saying his prayers too, how then could I say he is not worshiping Allah? Well, in Islam when someone prays to any other being as associates to Allah he clearly violates the 101-fundamental of the creed. The moment you are bringing in other stuff in your worship you are actually no longer a monotheist thus you are no longer worshiping Allah. Hence, your prayer or rather pi's prayer in this case is actually null and void.

Having said that, the movie does have loads of wisdom to reap out benefits from. For one thing, you learn how you come out of a severe situation and how you never ever lose hope in a situation where it is natural for you to believe that you are not going to survive. And when you see this type of strength from a teenager you feel you are more worthy of manning yourself up. And to avoid confusion, let me point out that I am referring to the strength of Pi's character.

You witness the true face of trial in the form of a thin teenage boy, that too with an adult royal bengal tiger! It is amazing how quickly Pi adopts himself to the situation and accepts the reality. The reality that he has to now spend a considerable amount of time with this ferocious creature, namely the tiger, if he does get himself killed before that. Lesson learned! Act quickly, the world is not a place for the sleuths. It is where the survival is of the fittest.

But the most profound lesson to me was the unmatched relationship between the human being and the tiger. The human being possesses the highest of intellects and the most superior of emotions. While the tiger being an animal obviously possesses an inferior mind, let alone having a superior intellect. In the relationship of Pi and Richard Parker, namely the tiger, I really find a sort of binary. It is like black and white, containing of completely opposite characteristics. Here you have a person having sensitive emotions, in fact more sensitive than most people I would argue. Considering we see him crying in the last scene reminiscing his days with Richard Parker. And you have a tiger that doesn't know what emotion is, it does not matter it. All it wants is food.

I feel that's the very reason why Richard Parker kind of makes an unsigned deal with Pi to come out of this impossible situation in the pacific ocean. And what do we see in the end? Richard Parker reaches the shore and immediately he reaches it he does not even look behind for once rather he waits in his tracks for a while and then enters the woods and disappears forever, oblivious to the emotions of Pi.

The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini

My rating: 2 of 5 stars


I didn't write the review of this book right away, since it actually left me somewhat confused. I was not sure about what to say. But now I believe I have finally formed my opinion concerning it.

Okay, neither does the book have the makings of becoming a classic nor is it to the level of airport novels. It is somewhat in the middle of somewhere. It is therefore exactly like my emotions after reading the book. When you have to take a critical decision and your good wit is required in it would you be so audacious in saying you are not sure?

This is what I say when my opinion is sought regarding 'the kite runner.'Truth be told, I do not like the progression of the protagonist Amir's character. From the very beginning of the book, you are dealing with the paranoia of Amir. In the way he speaks, in the way he treats his 'friend' Hassan and all the things he does for getting his father's attention. On top of all that, I have always felt in some way or the other Amir's actions were being justified. Whereas, Hassan was only described as a pure minded individual and he is very honest and loyal to his master. Notwithstanding, the book never talks about a solution to his plight and lets the offender Amir go free. Worse, time and time again in the book whenever Hassan is in picture his race is being talked about.

The only thing I sort of appreciate about the book is, it is not entirely predictable. You do have some 'omg' moments and it helps especially with your getting extremely annoyed with the racism aspect of the book.



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Agnes Grey by Anne Brontë

My rating: 5 of 5 stars


This book absolutely blew me away!

It's a must read for anyone who has a taste for classics. One of the really great things one should appreciate about classics, I feel, is their ability to engross the reader in the narration. And 'Agnes Grey' is one of those books which would not give you a moment's peace until you finish reading it. I actually felt kind of sad to realize that the author Anne Bronte, the youngest member of the Bronte literary family, only has two novels to her credit! The other one is 'The Tenant of Wildfell Hall'.

'Agnes Grey' especially reads very original probably because it is primarily based on Bronte's experience as a governess. The daughter of a poor Irish clergyman in the Church of England, Anne Bronte lived most of her life with her family at the remote village of Haworth on the Yorkshire moors. For a couple of years she went to a boarding school. At the age of nineteen, she left Haworth working as a governess between 1839 and 1845. The protagonist Agnes Grey is somewhat of a representation of the author in real life. The pages are actually compiled from the diary of Agnes, but we don't get to know it until in the concluding paragraph of the novel. Hence, the account is basically a conversation to the self which makes it more involving and personal. If you read the book you will find that you are actually having a closer a look into the life of the person in question since a diary is either strictly personal or rather a confession.

From the beginning to the very end, one cannot help but sympathize with Agnes Grey. Given the predicament she finds herself in, with her pupils. Agnes and her older sister Mary were the only two that survived the perils of infancy, of the six children of their poor clergyman father. Her father marries a woman from a noble family which her family doesn't approve of. And apparently she never complains for having to live in poverty with her husband. Mrs. Grey is a character from which, I believe, we have a lot to learn. We find her to be the ultimate model of steadfastness, belief and mercy. Against all odds, she chooses to be patient and laughs away the hefty situation she deliberately brings herself in. And when Mr Grey passes away and her father sends a letter telling her that he hopes by now she feels regretful for the marriage, she gets angry and says she should not feel regretful for her two beautiful daughters (Who would also likely be her support in old age) and her intimate friend in whom she always found herself in repose. It is extremely touchy and I am sure it will touch anyone's heart for it tells us what it means to be a true companion. Mrs. Grey proves the equation that there is a companionship both in life and death, and she chooses both without compromising either of them. Now if we look into Agnes's character, we find a somewhat similar picture. She is, also like her mother, someone who does not judge people based on wealth and position. She chooses to fall in love with someone who is barely attractive, she rather goes for Mr.Weston for his good nature. And She does not regret it. She eventually finds that Mr. Weston loves her back.

Now let's talk a bit about the other characters of the novel. In the beginning, we see Agnes's willingness to support her family by working as a governess, which initially gets rejected by her parents with some aversion, however she eventually gets the green signal to work outside. The first family she starts working with are the Bloomfields. The Bloomfields have three children. Master Tom, Mary Ann and the youngest little Harriet. Tom is as arrogant as hell and he tries to own his governess right from the word go, as if she was some sort of a slave to him. Much to the horror of Agnes, she finds Tom has a habit of killing innocent creatures like birds. He brutally murders them. Worse, he actually gets some sort of support from his parents and he says his father would do the same when he was his age. This seriously bothers Agnes and she makes it her life's mission to protect the birds from the oppression. However, as it turns out, Mrs. Bloomfield is a bigger obstacle. She doesn't let Agnes practice any kind of power over her children yet expects Agnes to discipline them. A huge dilemma indeed!

On the face of it, Mrs. Bloomfield is extremely amiable. But as time goes by, Agnes starts to realize that she is just a hypocrite.

Without saying anything about Mary Anne and Harriet let us now move on to the next family, the Murray. Two daughters, Rosalie Murray and Matilda Murray. Rosalie is extremely beautiful and her arrogance is far more severe than her beauty. She can rightfully be called narcissistic. The only things she wants from the men is to admire and appreciate her beauty. And to achieve that goal she is ready to go to the nth level of cruelty. She traps a man and makes him believe she loves him and when he tries to propose her, she ditches him.

Matilda is the menace. And at one point she threatens Agnes on her job. However, she does admit that parting with her does not quite appeal to her.

After getting married to Thomas Ashby, Rosalie visits Agnes to bid her farewell. And to Agnes's disbelief, Rosalie hugs her sincerely and cries. Soft heart Agnes forgives all of her offenses right away. And then after a considerable hiatus between their meeting, she sends a letter to Agnes and asks her to pay a visit. Even though now apparently it seems she has an epiphany we find at the very next second that her habit of bragging about herself hasn't gone away completely, however subtle though it is.

And on and on, I could write an essay but let me not give you the complete thing in my attempt to giving a synopsis here! I suppose, I have become extremely psyched after completing the novel. That and the awe-striking quality of the story. And please don't think I have rated it 5 stars for the sake of it. Please pay heed and do yourself a favor. Read the novel for yourself, I strongly believe you wont regret it. For the sake of brevity, I have left out a lot of different aspects of the novel but I really wish I could write more.



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Irresistible Forces by Danielle Steel

My rating: 2 of 5 stars


Hmm. Even though I am not entirely a big fan of reading airport novels, I do, however think if one does not read them they would be left wondering what is good literature. Anyhow, this book.....Irresistible Forces, is in fact, a total trash. As worse as it gets. Now, am I sounding too rude?

Well, if you read the book yourself and give a sincere thought you would be the first one to agree with me. And by the way, this is the second novel by Steel I read. The first one, though, I could not finish. Given the things she writes, one who is not used to reading trash would find her to be a bore!

And as usual, all she has to talk to about is infidelity and 10 ways of becoming a "pro-infidel". She should be giving wiki 'how to' advices really!

On the bright side, however, you learn a valuable lesson from the story. The protagonists of the story Steven Whitman and Meredith Whitman are happily married, except for the fact that they are not really happy when it comes to seeing each other. As in, they do not get to see each other often even in the weekends. Either he is off duty and she is working or the vice versa. And their high-tech big deal working schedule takes the life out of them. And thus as it turns out, after fourteen years of being together the relationship falls apart!



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2013.

Assalamualaykum.

This is going to be my first post of 2013. And I, for one, am not going to wish you 'happy new year'. So my apologies for that.

Let me now do a little review of how 2012 went for me.

It was as usual not good alhamdulillaah, I do not think I have made any amount of improvement to my worldly life or my life in the hereafter. And Allaah knows best.

On the brighter side of the picture, 2012 is past now. I can now in sha Allaah open a fresh new account.

Being the optimist that I am, I always tend to look ahead and forget what is left behind. For I cannot change the past but I can surely make a change in what is to come in the future. And as a matter of fact, that is what really matters. Some companion of prophet(s.) once said, 'I don't care how many sins I have in my account from the past for I know Allaah will forgive them, but I am terrified of my last deed. Because that is going to decide if I will be in jannah or jahannam.'


The last deed is the most important deed in a person's life. Simply the thought of it gives me the creeps. But we human beings were created forgetful. In fact, the Arabic word 'insan' means forgetful subhan Allaah. Primarily, this is the reason why we are in great need of reminders.

'Verily, reminders benefit the believers.'